Graduation is a huge milestone. Leaving high school behind
means breaking out of the imposed structure of one’s teenage years and
forming one’s own life as a young adult. This is indeed an exciting time of
liberation and self-reliance. However, cherishing this newfound independence too
much may become a hindrance to future success. This lesson was illustrated
beautifully by some grade four students with whom I recently worked:
I split the class into three groups and had each group stand
on their own tarp. The class’ goal was to flip over their tarps without anyone
touching the floor or using anything in the room to balance. After a few
minutes, the class informed me that this task was "IMPOSSIBLE!" No
matter how carefully they began to flip over their tarps, there just wasn't
enough room for the whole group and someone always ended up touching the floor.
The problem was that everybody had put their blinders on; they were all looking
down at their tarps, unaware of the other groups around them. I asked the kids
to stop and look around. They glanced up and a few kids noticed how close the
groups were to each other. One child asked, "Can I step on another group's
tarp?" And with that, the magical moment I had been hoping for occurred. Each
group took turns crowding onto the other two groups’ tarps so they could flip
theirs over. By reaching out to each other and sharing their resources, the
class was easily able to accomplish a task that they had just moments before
deemed impossible.
It is an ironic fact of human nature that we turn inward at
the exact moment when we should be turning outward. Faced with a particularly
hard challenge or trying circumstance, we put our heads down and attempt to
work though our difficulties alone. We should instead be looking around for
assistance. So while independence can be wonderful, it is sometimes not the
most beneficial course of action. My advice to graduates is a simple phrase I
often find myself repeating to younger students: When in doubt, ask for help!
Dynamix: Team-building for Kids and Teens, since 2002.
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